Tammy NYP

Its been a while since Annabel Chong. Every once in a while, our country needs a flag-waver to wake this sleepy, mechanical and indoctrinated society of ours. To highlight to the world that we are not a boring island but one so 'hip' and 'happening' that we need to make a big deal out of a small fuss.

It shames me to see how we feed on the sensationalisation of other people's personal affairs. Oh how we satisfy our voyeuristic tendencies behind a facade of self-righteousness at the expense of the subject being socially victimised.

On a personal note to Tammy, these are tough times. The worst being having to face up to your family and relatives. Especially those with high hopes for you whom you feel you have let down. But you'll get through all this and can only grow stronger. It is only through such times that we realise who are the ones true to you and will stand by you all the way.

"The world's a fucking fashion show. Tip the bottle fill the hole."

P.S. Its time i get a phone with better videographic capabilities.

And to all those out there who happen to be at my site hoping to download the clip, shame on you. Repeat after me, "SHAME ON YOU". Yes, shame on me too.

My Johari Window
My Nohari Window

Ready

Last night or this morning rather, for the moment before i fell asleep. I felt satisfied. Satisfied with what i had for the moment. The respect, the recognition, the love, the life. I felt so ready to die. Never wanted anything more than this. And if i lived longer, it might never get to this. I really would have gone last night if i had a cigar box of heroin and a syringe. It would be doubly satisfying to die on a high. Unfortunately i never had the means to die. I don't want to leave the sheets bloodied or my body parts mutilated for my close ones to clean up and leave them with a horrific last image to remember me by. Pain wasn't much of a factor. Beauty in Death is the ideal.

Hence i only fell asleep and woke up to the blaring midday sun. At least the night is cool. So here i am alive. Guess i'll die another night.