I kill myself further with every feeble attempt to make myself better.
Life's vicious cycle. The more pain i feel the more i hurt myself, the more i hurt, the greater the pain.
Every thought is a thought wasted. If my mind was seen as an artist, every brush stroke is like scrape to the heart. The heart wears and tears and i almost get used to pain. It becomes a drug where i feel uncomfortable without it. Each scrape has to be deeper and harder or i will become desensitized to it. Unaware. Yes. Probably i am numb. Nerves have probably been scraped out and i am ignorant as my soul wears thinner. Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps. I do not know. I am ignorant.
Today Kelvin talks about procrastination. Yes, i am a guilty party. It's become a pattern of life.
The lazybone, the fear. Fear is the greatest demon. I cannot really fathom the concept of getting things done. My will is weak and ...
I'm bored now... bored about talking about all these shit. Worse, i'm starting to talk about myself.
Yes, myself! lets see... today, my fringe reaches my chin. Too bad i'm shaven or i probably could knot my fringe to my goatee.
Tomorrow is snipping day..... she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not.... and the bulb will be bald!
No more hiding behind curtains and taking mischievous peeps like a kid playing hide and seek. The world will stare at me blankly in the face. And i will see it eye to eye, man to man........ or maybe i'll get a cap.
Let me introduce a character. Sponk.
Sponk awakes one day. It's morning. Sponk is normal. He wakes up in the morning.
His bed is placed nicely beside the window. He sits up and leans against the window and stares out. That's right, no window grilles to bear him in. He can lean out all he wants and even fall down 28 storeys and die if he wants to.
It would have an excellent view but 28 storeys is sort of damn high. so anything below would be small. Because when you are high up or far away, things tend to look small. It is actually a funny theory. I wonder if there is a formula for distance and size. Don't we take these things for granted? It's like we are programmed to accept things as they are. Why can't things get bigger the further they get? This would be cool coz tits would look damn big from a distance. And let's say you are burglarising a guitar shop. If you can see the security guards nice and clear to every detail, you know you are safe and you have lots of time to make your escape.
Yes as i was saying, since Sponk lived so high up, there wasn't much life to observe because the creator made it this way and i cannot explain any further.
But who needs to see things we cannot see. We have our mind's eye. Our mind has many things. We have God in our mind. creator. the one. He creates things that exist for the mind's eye to see and he can just make them dis-exist in a snap. So if the mind's eye has sinned,
the mind police can arrest it, or not. It is entirely up to God in our head to decide. Nothing is consequential. Or they may be. Do you control headGod? u think u do..... but do you?... you are not god. God in you controls you.
Life's vicious cycle. The more pain i feel the more i hurt myself, the more i hurt, the greater the pain.
Every thought is a thought wasted. If my mind was seen as an artist, every brush stroke is like scrape to the heart. The heart wears and tears and i almost get used to pain. It becomes a drug where i feel uncomfortable without it. Each scrape has to be deeper and harder or i will become desensitized to it. Unaware. Yes. Probably i am numb. Nerves have probably been scraped out and i am ignorant as my soul wears thinner. Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps. I do not know. I am ignorant.
Today Kelvin talks about procrastination. Yes, i am a guilty party. It's become a pattern of life.
The lazybone, the fear. Fear is the greatest demon. I cannot really fathom the concept of getting things done. My will is weak and ...
I'm bored now... bored about talking about all these shit. Worse, i'm starting to talk about myself.
Yes, myself! lets see... today, my fringe reaches my chin. Too bad i'm shaven or i probably could knot my fringe to my goatee.
Tomorrow is snipping day..... she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not.... and the bulb will be bald!
No more hiding behind curtains and taking mischievous peeps like a kid playing hide and seek. The world will stare at me blankly in the face. And i will see it eye to eye, man to man........ or maybe i'll get a cap.
Let me introduce a character. Sponk.
Sponk awakes one day. It's morning. Sponk is normal. He wakes up in the morning.
His bed is placed nicely beside the window. He sits up and leans against the window and stares out. That's right, no window grilles to bear him in. He can lean out all he wants and even fall down 28 storeys and die if he wants to.
It would have an excellent view but 28 storeys is sort of damn high. so anything below would be small. Because when you are high up or far away, things tend to look small. It is actually a funny theory. I wonder if there is a formula for distance and size. Don't we take these things for granted? It's like we are programmed to accept things as they are. Why can't things get bigger the further they get? This would be cool coz tits would look damn big from a distance. And let's say you are burglarising a guitar shop. If you can see the security guards nice and clear to every detail, you know you are safe and you have lots of time to make your escape.
Yes as i was saying, since Sponk lived so high up, there wasn't much life to observe because the creator made it this way and i cannot explain any further.
But who needs to see things we cannot see. We have our mind's eye. Our mind has many things. We have God in our mind. creator. the one. He creates things that exist for the mind's eye to see and he can just make them dis-exist in a snap. So if the mind's eye has sinned,
the mind police can arrest it, or not. It is entirely up to God in our head to decide. Nothing is consequential. Or they may be. Do you control headGod? u think u do..... but do you?... you are not god. God in you controls you.
posted by vacance at 04:26
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