I need to be myself again. Perhaps i've never been my true self. A lie was all i had been. All these demons need to be purged. Honesty had been the last thing i ever was. The evil i had done, all the dark secrets and the dark thoughts. I feel so ashamed of myself and yet i'm helplessly drawn to them. By writing them down now might be my first step to coming to terms with them. Admitting their existence. Slowly, i might hopefully be rid of them.

I am something i never am. Anyway, i was in a state of utter depression. Things were dawning on me so clearly. I was listening to Gilbert O' Sullivan's "Alone again (naturally)" over and over again... in state of shock and loss... then i thought of the movie "White noise".

Did a little research on EVP (electronic voice phenomenon). Wanted to share it with my friend Kelf, but he was busy mugging for some exam paper. I did a recording. Amplified the volume several times. Man i was freaked out to listen further. As i recorded i noticed slight augmentations in the waveforms occasionally. Probably it was nothing... but the white noise itself and the occasional change in tonalities were spooky... probably if Kelf was available for me to send him and share what i had, i would be so curious to really decipher any possible supernatural signs? voices? signals?... i dunno....

But its all natural... these things whatever they are, are always around us. Just that we are oblivious to them and deny their existence mostly. Think about this. The reason for our sight is light. We see things because light is reflected into our pupil and lens and whatever... when we see people, we are not actually seeing human beings, but the light that is reflected into our eyes.
This is basic science. Our skin colour reflects back the skin-coloured light to us and hence what we see is skin colour.

Ok now, the big bombshell. As far as we know, the light spectrum consists of 2 light rays invisible to the human eye. Namely the infra-red ray and the ultra-violet ray. Imagine if we actually could see these 2 spectrums with our naked eye.... it would be an entire new world.
We would be able to see so many things that reflected these light that we previously could not see. Maybe the pigmentation of spirits or whatever bore these colours and hence they are "invisible" to the naked eye (as so we speak).

Imagine, perhaps beyond infra-red and ultraviolet there may be many other layers of light within the spectrum that man may not or will not ever identify. With that, there, we have so much that is unseen. So perhaps under certain conditions such as the atmosphere, the temperature, radioactivity etc... these "unseen" things may occasionally appear before us.

Apply this concept to sound and touch and every other senses we have and even the senses we may not have discovered and we open the doors to an endless amount of possibilities.

So as u can see, perhaps its the supernatural entities at work, or whatever reason, my melancholy has been dispersed, at least temporarily by this fascinating insight that just floods my mind.

I am not sure. This is perhaps the first time i have written on this blog truthfully and as myself. What rubbish i had previously done by using the characterisation of Sponk and whatever i have done. Perhaps this is a brave new step towards honesty to myself.

I am erratic... probably using characterisation is still a feasible idea. Different perspectives and different opinions could be conveyed via different means.

Whatever. and for you who doth reads my humble ramblings. Lets hope its a start of something more lasting.